it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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