this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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