Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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