you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
