I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
