Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
