No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
