ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So much rum. So many feels.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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