His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
