"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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