didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
