That's when you crack a 10am beer
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
