On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
