Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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