and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
