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• (619): View more from California

  I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she has to be all "alternative"

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• (716): View more from New York

  i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

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• (315): View more from New York

  I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!

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