I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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