She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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