God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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