She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
