my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
