marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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