absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
