i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
