Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize