Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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