Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
