super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
