Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
