it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
