I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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