It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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