Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
