Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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