Duck Duck Cougar?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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