yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
