I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
3pm strippers are depressing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
