The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
