Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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