SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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