i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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