Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
