Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
