you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
