would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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