i may or may not be watching the land before time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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