So drunk, too bad you don't want this
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
