just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
