girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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