i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
