i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
