my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
