what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
