It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
