Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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