I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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